Ordained in June 1981, Reverend Anne Naylor has been giving Clear Results Consultations for clients who were either meeting a turning point in life (such as relocation, retirement, divorce, children leaving home) or wishing to change direction (career change, creating success or greater fulfilment). She has worked with individuals of all ages and walks of life, helping people to find new clarity, confidence and enthusiasm for achieving what they most want.

“In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Sitting around a kitchen table last night, a group of us were asking what we really wanted for Christmas. It was a no holds barred conversation. One of us said she wanted peace and quiet. I wonder how many parents have that wish? And how many get to have it?

A theme I have been working with this autumn is gratitude. I helped to write a webcast class on the subject: Gratitude: A Great Attitude. Not only was I researching information on the subject, but in the process I came to “osmose” feeling grate-full - for everything I have that I would normally take for granted if I did not stop to think about it.

When I wake in the morning, sometimes feeling less than inspired, I repeat a few gratitude statements: I am grateful for feeling warm; I am grateful for a good night’s sleep; I am grateful for my friends; I am grateful for this next breath of air - then I take deep breath and relax into more good feelings. It is amazing how counting these small blessings lifts my spirit and energizes me for the day ahead with whatever it might bring me.

During my researches, I came across a new book: Thank You Power: Making the Science of Gratitude Work for You by Deborah Norville. Science? How interesting. I found the book a very uplifting read. There is one exercise she offers which I have really enjoyed doing. It is to write down not only what you are grateful for, but also to add: because.... This has a remarkable effect, as she discovered with people who worked it.

I am grateful for living in this part of the world because I get to meet some very interesting and unusual people. I am grateful for my home because it is cosy and warm in winter. I am grateful for the tv because it is entertaining and I find stimulating programmes that cause me to see the world in new ways. Gratitude is a brilliant pick-me-up.

This time last year, I discovered that even in this beautiful, relatively affluent part of the world, many people are experiencing depression. I was shocked. The days leading up to Christmas I know can be especially lowering for people recently bereaved, divorced, retired, or simply lonely. I have a certain perspective about this.

The way I see it, the time leading up to Christmas a lot of what I understand as “spiritual Light” is being showered over us. The Light has a way of letting us see the aspects of our lives which are less than Light with the purpose, if we choose it, to heal and restore ourselves. Another word for spiritual Light is loving. Self-awareness is a great gift because it gives us the opportunity to make a fresh choice; to be more loving, forgiving and compassionate towards ourselves.

In past years, I have often felt on an emotional roller coaster during the Advent weeks. The pressures of Christmas preparation, the stresses of life generally seem to grow. And yet, on Christmas morning, I feel a burden has been lifted. There is a lightness and brightness and peace that soothes and restores me. It is almost as if I have been re-born into my own simplicity and newness.

Could it be that the Christmas Season is time for awakening to more of our loving? Loving is a two way track. It requires both giving - and receiving. Do you know people who are great givers, but find it hard to receive? Maybe you are one. It can be hard for a person who is used to being in the driving seat to learn to be vulnerable enough to be open to receive. Givers need receivers - and vice versa. Generally, I have yet to meet one person who does not have some challenge, dilemma or condition to deal with in their lives, albeit sometimes self-manufactured. What if the predicaments we have can be viewed as “blessings in disguise”. What if a difficulty we have is an opportunity to receive assistance from someone who is able to give us what we need? What if these issues we have as humans enable us to better connect with each other? They are what make us human.

In my experience, some of my greatest difficulties have produced my greatest resources. Like the time I was unable to communicate, to literally put words together to be heard and understood. So that I used to watch people talking to each other to find out how they did it. I became sensitive to how people make meaningful contact with one another. The use of words and communication is now a great source of joy for me. My communication issue became a blessing in disguise.

I would like to say I have learned the lesson, but the truth is that I am still learning to be grateful for every little thing, including the difficulties, in my life. However, the more I do so, the more full I feel, and the easier life becomes.

It is that simple, though not necessarily easy. It is a question of habit. Getting into the habit of being grateful - I am finding more and more to be grateful for. Thinking of those times when I might allow my energy to drop down: Waiting in traffic, standing in line at the supermarket, being let down by someone who had promised me something, rejection by a friend I thought I could count on, disappointments, self-doubts, feelings of failure, a bad mood.

Those are the moments that call upon my spirit to rise up and look around for the goodness in my life. In traffic, be grateful that I have a car to drive. In the supermarket, be grateful that I am able to shop. Being let down, be grateful that I can be open to receive the resources I need from others. Rejection: be grateful that I can accept and appreciate myself.

A former consultation client, who wanted to stop being a massage therapist and write a best-seller, asked some of his clients to support him financially in making the transition into his new writing career. He drew up an agreement so that each donor would receive a percentage of the profits from his anticipated book, not then knowing how exactly that would come about. It took courage to ask for the support he needed.

He was deeply touched, amazed and felt profoundly grateful at the generosity and trust demonstrated by people who were taking such a risk on his behalf. He went on to win an exceptional contract to write the book, which did become a number one bestseller. His supporters received an increase on their donations. However, his greatest feelings of gratitude were less towards winning the contract and much more towards those who had supported him in the first place.

So what does all of this have to do with Celebrating Christmas? The parties and the presents - I enjoy all of those! But I also deeply appreciate the quieter aspect of Christmas. The time to reflect and be grateful - for all of the blessings that I have received in the past year. To get in touch with friends I do not see so often. To review the year in the light of blessings given and received.

As the door of this year closes, the door to the New Year is opening. Completions or closures happen most easily when we focus on the positive, or in a positive way, on the past. Those of us who are lucky enough to be living in this extraordinary part of the world have much to be thankful for, much to celebrate. As I write, the sky is clear blue, not a cloud in sight, the sun is bright, the air fresh. What a blessing!

May this Christmas bless you with peace, brightness and joy and the New Year bring you fulfilment and a greater sense than ever before of the blessing that you are.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melodie Beattie

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Reverend Anne Naylor can be contacted through her email or telephone 04 92 28 09 18