Clear Results – Part 2
Clear blocks on your way through life
Given that a block can be seen as a problem, I have heard it said that everyone’s problem is down to a lack of awareness about how to resolve it. How then do we gain the awareness to handle and resolve our blocks? How do those blocks arise in the first place?
The greatest blocks I believe are the hidden ones: doubt, fear, anger. And woven under those: low self-esteem, shame and guilt. These negative emotions are the substance of our uncertainty, because they cloud the truth of who we are. At the same time, they can be the doors that open us to more of our love, and with it, greater peace, joy and serenity.
Erich Fromm
The simplest solution to a block is to move and do something - almost anything. Don’t sit around feeling stuck. Take some action. The most effective action I know is to handle incompletions and deadwood - those things you have been meaning to do for ages, and just have not got around to doing.
The liberating effect of clearing space of clutter, and dealing with the undealt-with, is positively empowering. Getting organized will raise your self-esteem, release your creativity and open new doors of vision and possibility. Possibly easier said than done - without moral support and encouragement.
For every block, a resolution.
The magic ingredient for clearing blocks is love. Sometimes it is hard to love ourselves as fully as we might, doing what really serves us. Receiving unconditional positive regard within a group, or from one other individual, ignites our enthusiasm and confidence to take another step forward.
Here is a process for clearing blocks:
1. OBSERVE - look at the block, resistance or reluctance. See if you can find it located in your physical body as an ache, tension or pressure of some kind. Observation can release awareness.
2. ACCEPT - do not fight the block. Fighting produces more resistance, greater pain. Take in a deep breath and let it be there.
3. FORGIVE - be aware of any “shoulds” you may have towards yourself, other people or the situation which is blocking you. When we know better, we are able to do better. Until that time, we may keep making the same errors, until we learn. There is no time limit on our learning. Soon enough will do. For now complete the following statement a few times:
“I forgive... myself, another person, the situation .... for/as .... “
4. ACT - take some action to move your energy. Go for a walk. Clear out a cupboard. Stand up, look up and stretch. Looking up takes you up out of the block and into a new possibility.
5. LOVE - yourself, anyone else and the situation. Stand back, take a few deep breaths. Extend compassion towards yourself. You are entirely worthy of your own love. Ultimately, only you can know where you hurt, and where you need to heal.
So in all of this, how do we “celebrate” uncertainty? And how does uncertainty have anything to do with the Cote d’Azur.
There is a large cosmopolitan community living on the French Riviera. Some come for a short time and then move on. Others came “by accident” and find themselves staying. Others just knew that this was the place for them, and here they are. There is nothing quite like moving house - as I have found - for releasing blocks and gaining a new perspective.
Blocks may show up because we get stuck in a rut and cannot see how to get out of it. A relationship, career, life in some way has grown dull for us and we have lost our appetite for, and enjoyment of, life. On the way towards a really exciting objective, we may encounter a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, which can cast us down. We feel discouraged.
There are blocks that no amount of relocating will release. As a friend used to say: we are all bimbos on the same bus. Meaning, in this context, no matter where we are, if we have issues they may follow us. The beauty of this part of the world is that there are many thoughtful, caring people I have met who, perhaps because many are living away from their countries of origin, are keen to extend the hand of friendship when we need it.
The word “vulnerable” has the meanings of both the ability to be wounded and the ability to be blessed. In French, the “blesses” are those who have been wounded. The beauty of vulnerability is that it allows us to be open to receive the assistance or guidance we need. It is a doorway to feeling the innate loving and beauty that we are.
is a first step towards knowing.
True vulnerability is not so easy. Most of us much rather distract ourselves with food, cigarettes, tv, the internet, wine, over-working - anything but savour the quietness within us. And yet there are places we can go in which we can be with the stillness. The Ile St Honorat off the coast of Cannes is one such.
Recently I went with a small group, taking the ferry from Cannes, to spend a day on the island. As we approached, I noticed the clear water, the brilliance of the blue sky, the sun releasing the scent of pine needles into the air. I felt the energy of stillness and peacefulness. There was the outer noise of the boat and people chatting, but deeper than that was for me an almost tangible quality of peace. This peace is that which “passes understanding”.
A block may be inviting us to upgrade our view of ourselves, and our lives. Consider it a blessing in disguise, and it will be. Curiously perhaps, in our vulnerability we find our greatest power.
If we want to live in a kinder, more compassionate world - as I am sure many of us do - then I believe that the kindness and compassion must start with ourselves, for ourselves. To love ourselves, in spite of our human faults and frailties; to be generous with ourselves when we do less than we think is our best; to be tender and patient when our dreams and goals do not come to fruition as quickly as we would like.
Celebrate uncertainty because it can awaken you to the greater goodness available to you.
More in the final article of this series: Clear Results - Part 3 Nurture yourself through to completion.
© Anne Naylor, September 2008
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